A Lover’s Guide to How to Start a Conversation with a Woman in Almost Any Situation

Image of nymphs
‘The Nymphs’ by William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825–1905). Image from ‘W. Bouguereau’ by Marius Vachon (1850–1928)

Here seek an opening for friendly talk, and begin
with words that all may hear. Mind you are zealous
in asking whose horses are entering, and quick!

– Ovid, ‘Ars Amatoria’ I, transl. J. H. Mozley

In the previous post in this series on seductive social skills, we considered how to make a potent first impression on a woman with twelve charming and seductive non-verbal communication skills. Now you’re ready to seduce her non-verbally then, let’s return to where we were before that. Let’s imagine again you’ve approached her and are about to open your mouth and speak.

So, there she is then. She’s alluring … and enchanting – like some unearthly child of Venus – and you really want to meet her. And so, you’re going to have to engage her and start a conversation.

In this post then, we’re going to prepare to open the interaction by answering the big question …

What do you say to get her attention and start a conversation?

Not knowing what to say, or how best to initiate a conversation, is where most would-be lovers stumble and fall. That’s right before they even begin. So, let’s start getting this sorted now.

But, not by memorizing and then mechanically reciting scripted openers and lines. Instead, here at Cupid’s Schoolwe want to cultivate ourselves by developing skills that we can creatively integrate into our characters as extraordinary lovers.

So, we’re going to cover social skills that you can develop, adapt, and use in almost any place, at any time, and with just about any particular woman.

Sounds good?

Okay, let’s begin.

So, what do you say?

Each situation, of course, will be different and will influence the particular words you choose. Nonetheless, I’m going to cover two of the best types of conversation starters for your purpose here of finding and seducing a woman for love. Both of these are, essentially, social skills you can practise and learn to smoothly employ with flair, grace, and charm. You’ll know then how to start a conversation with a woman in almost any situation. That means you’re going to have more options and be able to make things happen.

So, here then are the two types of conversation starters we’re going to cover here:

1) A situational conversation starter is when you start a conversation by addressing someone (in this case a woman) with a remark, a question, or both about something in the environment or situation you’re in.

2) A direct conversation starter is when you start a conversation by openly expressing your attraction and interest right from the start with a well-chosen compliment.

When to use a situational conversation starter and when to employ a direct one

The situational conversation starter is sort of like a Swiss Army Knife for starting conversations. The ability to create and deliver a situational conversation starter then is a multi-purpose skill you can develop and use to start a casual conversation almost anywhere with anyone you’re near. Meanwhile, if you’re not close enough to the woman you want to speak with and can’t get near enough with an indirect approach, you can approach her directly and employ a direct conversation starter instead.

As a general rule then, you’ll want to use a direct conversation starter after a direct approach and an indirect situational conversation starter after an indirect approach. More than likely, you’ll appear a bit odd if you approach her directly, and interrupt whatever she’s doing, just to make situational small talk without first telling her why.

Still, being able to smoothly generate and deliver a situational conversation starter or otherwise employ a direct conversation starter will have you covered one way or another in any one of numerous situations.

So, we’re going to take a closer look at how to master each of these skills.

In the next post in this series then, we’ll start with the situational conversation starter …